Agent Kirby
by TunaInACan
Summary: Kirby is working as an agent and has to help Samus over top Mewtwo on the tier list. But a whole new adventure comes in while trying to locate Mewtwo before he does something to the list. Only one curse word, but it was blocked, I hope it's tolerated. Kirby is a human in this, sorry if that kills the story vibe. You can imagine him as himself though. I don't care.
1. Chapter 1

Agent Kirby

Kirby sat in his chair, waiting for a client he had scheduled at 12:00. Master Hand said he could not run his business outside or in public where other smashers could be distracted.

"I'm here, Kirby." They greeted, "Finally, it's 12:30. Now, to get back on what we were discussing earlier today." Kirby recalled, "Yes, I know. The target I filed for you was cut from Smash. But I want to shine light on this case. They are returning as Downloadable Content." They explained, as they spun slightly in their chair. "What kind of term is that?" Kirby asked, "It means that, well, basically, Master Hand is adding them back to our roster. I want them to be executed so I can get top tier again. After they stole it." They said, "Samus, do you know their name? So I can program this properly?" Kirby took a piece of paper and clipped it on to the clipboard to take notes. "Their name is, Mewtwo." She replied, "Oh, him. I should have known. He has a biography section based on taking top tier from people. But never accomplished it since he, you know, got cut from the roster." Kirby leaned back.

"Yeah, taking it from me and Young Link," Samus stood up, "Have you got everything planned?" She asked suspiciously, "Yeah, I do. Don't worry I've got everything under control." Kirby unclipped the paper and put it in a folder. "When's the next meeting?" She asked, "Tuesday, at 8:00 AM." Kirby described, as he stood up as well.

They walked to lunch. "So, I hope you do this properly, I need my place back near the top." Samus said. "Do I have to pay? If so, how much? It's a thanks to you for helping me with this conflict." She asked, "Nah, I don't mind. I'll do anything to help anyone get their spot on the list." Kirby shook her hand. Then they went to their designated tables.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Peach. Can I take a Ice Cream Sundae? And, uh? Milkshake?" Kirby asked, "Sure!" Her upbeat voice replied, and prepared his food. "Here! That will be 9.95!" Peach said, "Okay," Kirby reached in his pocket and grabbed some money. "Here. Thanks." Kirby picked up the tray. He walked over to the corner of the lunch room. Then saw Link making a speech. "Link! What the heck are you doing? That's my seat not yours! Go sit in the tunnel where you were born!" A smasher yelled, "Heh, no. I'm too busy making a speech about a stable economy." Link said, "Hey, Link." Kirby looked up, "Hi, Kirby!" Link jumped off to talk to him, "I know you're my sidekick and everything, but I need to tell you about this case," Kirby walked with him, and on the way there, Kirby pushed Falco into a trash can. Not paying attention. "Uh, you just socked Falco in the face." Link said, "What?! I did?" Kirby got really worried because he fears his reputation will go down. "Hold my tray, I need to go help him." Kirby said, "Sorry, Falco, I wasn't paying attention." Kirby apologized.

"No problem, I knew you weren't paying attention. It was obvious, but I didn't see it coming." He dusted his clothes. Kirby caught up with Link. "Hey, Kirby! It's Pikachu! I need your freaking help!" Pikachu shouted, "Ugh! Sorry, what?" Kirby walked over, "Greninja won't wake up, and I swear we didn't battle again!" Pikachu swore. "I understand, but what happened?" Kirby asked. "I don't know how he ended up like this but I saw part of it when I got out of the bathroom." Pikachu explained.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, so, what did you see?" Kirby kneeled down to get to Pikachu's height. "Well, I saw Charizard and Jigglypuff surrounding him. But before that I saw Greninja hit the ground. I thought he slipped and just got knocked out but I don't think that's it and Jigglypuff and Charizard won't tell me. They look terrified." Pikachu explained. " _Oh no, do I have to deal with another case?_ " Kirby thought, "I'll talk to them. I'll see if I can get some answers from them." Kirby said and walked over to the scared Pokemon. "Wow, what happened here? Can you tell me? I know you won't tell Pikachu. But can you tell me?" Kirby asked, " _Ugh, If they won't tell Pikachu, then they won't tell me._ " Kirby kept thinking. "Well, we.. Saw a smasher with a huge tail slip under then went in the direction where Master Hand's office is." Jigglypuff said, " _Oh, they actually told me?_ " Kirby thought for a minute, " _Big tail, Master Hand's office?_ " Kirby thought more, " _Oh, Mewtwo! That little pr*ck!_ " Kirby said, "That's someone who I'm tracking down!" Kirby whipped out his Star Rod. He ran to the exit of the cafeteria, then ran down the hallway, passing all the dorms.

"Ugh! Mewtwo!" Kirby grunted, "Woah!" He shouted before he almost slipped. "He cannot take that tier list!


	4. Chapter 4

"Agh!" Kirby grunted, he ran into the office. "Mewtwo, I found you!" Kirby started it up his Star Rod. "Heh. Try to stop me. You puny star warrior." Mewtwo took the list, "Ugh, why you?" Kirby shot out a star. "That's easy to dodge." Mewtwo fired up a shadow ball. "Oh no!" Kirby backed up until he hit a wall. "Really?!" He shouted, Mewtwo shot the shadow ball, "Wah!" Kirby rolled to dodge. He dodged about 6 shadow balls. " _He won't expect this!_ " Kirby shot out a full charged star from his Star Rod. "Ah!" It hit Mewtwo into the wall. "What was that?" Smashers whispered about.

"Stop, Mewtwo. There's no way you'll edit that list!" Kirby started charging up a star. He charged it and shot it but Mewtwo warped away. "The heck?" Kirby knew it was too late to stop the star from making an impact on the wall and exploding the whole thing.

"Gah!" The whole wall exploded. "Ah, dang it. Mewtwo warped away." Kirby hung his head down in sadness. "Now, I'll never get that tier list." Kirby put his knees up.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"What happened over here?" Peach shouted, then noticed Kirby sitting, "Mewtwo got the tier list, I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but Master Hand will get angry and probably fight all of us in hopes of one of us giving it back." Kirby spoke, "Oh no." A smasher mumbled, "I don't really want to fight Master Hand."

"So, if you don't want to fight him, come with me to find the tier list. And Mewtwo."

Kirby said, "It might be dangerous out there. Mewtwo can make clones." Jigglypuff pointed out. "Don't worry. I got this. He won't get away this time. He probably will. Because that's how this story needs to be designed." Kirby ran and while running, he grabbed Link. "You have a sword and I have a Star Rod." He told Link, "So how are we gonna get there?" Link asked, "On my Warp Star, obviously." Kirby said, "Oh yeah, that thing. I forgot you had it."

They reached the exit. then out of nowhere, the Warp Star flew in and Kirby and Link jumped on it. "I didn't expect you to be my sidekick. I actually didn't think anyone would wanna be. But you know, the author did it." Kirby said, "Yeah, I know. All of this over a tier list?" Link chuckled, Kirby quickly faced him, "We'll die if we don't get that tier list. Master Hand will obliterate us. And send us into a dimension where nightmares will come true." Kirby said, "Oh." Link frowned.

"Alright, instead of just going nowhere. Let's split up. I know it sounds like a bad idea.

But, I'll just make a signal." Kirby said, "Out of what?" Link asked, "Probably stars." Kirby answered.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"This blows." Link said, "Just because you couldn't find him, doesn't mean he disappeared into thin air." Kirby told him, "Which is what he did to me but still."

Link frowned again. "We have to check somewhere else! You don't want to get obliterated by Master Hand, do you?" Kirby had his hands on his hips while Link sat on the grass, "Ugh, fine, you have a point."

Kirby snapped his fingers and his Warp Star was there and ready to go. "Come on." Kirby climbed on, "Why me?" Link weeped, then Kirby grabbed him again.

They arrived at the Melee Palace. "Finally, I don't think this thing has anymore gas or whatever, stars?" Link said, "It probably doesn't run out." Kirby kicked it slightly.

"Alright, Melee Palace. Maybe he's here." Link crossed his arms. "Well, we don't really know. How about we check instead of assuming?" Kirby walked over to the giant doors. "Damn." Link observed, they entered and had to fill out a form. "Won't they recognize us?" Link asked, "Probably...Not." Kirby sighed, "Please fill out all the fields on this form." A person said, "We're not from Melee. I mean, we've been here before. We're from Smash 4." Kirby told them. "Hey Kirby!" Roy shouted, "Oh look! It's Roy!"


	7. Chapter 7

"What are you guys doing here?" Roy asked, "We're looking for Mewtwo." Kirby said, "Oh, I haven't seen him since all the Brawl Rejects were having their Thanksgiving." Roy told him, "Did he say what or where he was going?" Link asked, still crossing his arms. "No." Roy responded. Kirby looked around, he saw a purple tail disappear behind a wall. "Did you see that?" Kirby asked, "See what?" Roy and Link asked in unison. "It looked like a purple tail." Kirby walked over to the corner and looked down the hallway. "Roy, there isn't any other Brawl Reject roaming around here, right?" Kirby asked, "No, just Pichu, Mewtwo, and me." Roy told him. "Then who was that?" Kirby looked at him, "I dunno." Roy said.

"Why don't we check it out instead of assuming it was a Brawl Reject?" Link mocked Kirby, (From what he said in Chapter 6.) Kirby evil eyed him. "Well?" Roy broke the up the glares. "Okay," Kirby said and sighed, "Are you scared of a purple tail?" Link cooed, "Shut up! How about you check if you're so brave?" Kirby pouted, "No way! You dragged me all the way over here with no warning!" Link started arguing with Kirby, Roy watched, making a sad face. "FINE! I'll check it, goddamn!" Roy shouted and walked down the hallway, then drew his sword. "Ooh," Link chirped, "Roy coming in with the Sword of Seals!" He added.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Nothing is there." Roy said, Kirby sighed, "Dang it." He sat down, "Now, we'll die."

Roy looked at him, "What do you mean, 'die'?" He asked, "If we don't find the tier list and Mewtwo then Master Hand will kill us." Kirby sulked, "I'll help you find him." Roy said, Link uncrossed his arms. "Well, let's stop crying about it and solve it." Link walked out, Kirby stood up and Roy followed Link, before Kirby went out, he looked down the hallway, the light twitched and went out. "What the?" Kirby asked himself.

"Kirby! What the hell is he doing?" Link peeked in, "He's not there." Roy stopped staring at a bird that ate something, "Where is he?" Roy asked, "I don't know," Link walked in, "Kirby!?" He called out. "Where the hell did you go?" He started to go upstairs, Roy followed and looked down the hallway, "Hey, Link!" Roy shouted, Link looked down, "What?"

Roy pointed to the hallway, where blood spots were trailing down, Roy walked into the hallway, then continued from the corner.

Link followed Roy, "Why is there blood?" Link asked.


	9. Chapter 9

Meanwhile, Kirby ran down the corridors. "Oh my God," He stopped, "Who was chasing me?" Kirby looked back, "He's not there." Kirby walked to a door. He tried twisting the doorknob, "Damnit." Kirby looked at the ceiling. He saw an air vent, "Dang, too high," He looked around for a boost. "Damn, no chairs? What kind of palace is this?" Kirby walked to another door, "Locked, I just looked down the hallway and all hell broke loose."

With Link and Roy, they walked down the same corridor, but Kirby was moving away, "Dang, where is he?" They looked behind things, but still couldn't find him, they went further. "Oh-M- Gosh." Roy said, "Don't worry, we'll find him. KIRBY!" Link shouted.

Kirby turned the corner, and went through another corridor and checked all of the doors. "Oh my gosh." Kirby scoffed, he continued going straight through the hallway into another corridor, "Holy-" he didn't say anymore. "How about I just go back?" He asked himself, "No, too much walking," He established that he didn't want to walk anymore.

"This is stupid." Roy complained, "If we keep looking, we'll find him. Don't give up just yet." Link said, "Say, don't you have a phone to call other smashers now that you're in the updated universe.?" Roy mentioned, "Oh yeah, that!" Link took it out, "Except that there is no Wi-Fi here." Roy had no expression in his voice because he was tired, "What's wrong with you, Roy?" Link asked, they arrived in a corridor, "Yes! Rooms. My room is here." Roy took out his key, "Now, to get some sleep." he went to his room and face planted onto the bed. "Roy, we have to find Kirby!" Link said, "Let's find him tomorrow," Roy's muffled voice pleaded, "Ugh, Kirby's lost and we need to find him and the list and Mewtwo. We've got so many problems to deal with." Link walked in, "He's lost and he'll probably decide to go back, it's not that much of a maze." Roy replied, "What am I going to do with you?" Link face palmed.


	10. Chapter 10

"I guess I'll go look by myself." Link thought, "I'll come back, Roy." Link said, "Yeah, 'kay, tell me if you find Kirby." Roy told him, Link sighed, then opened the door.

He walked down the corridor, "KIRBY!" Link shouted, "Why did he disappear?"

Meanwhile with Kirby, "God, where am I?" Kirby asked himself, he sighed and looked to his right, then saw the person who greeted them from before. "Finally!" He ran towards the person. "Hey, I need to know where the elf and red haired boy went?" Kirby asked, "Yes, they are in room 293." They said, Kirby looked around, " _There's no damn way that I'm going through that corridor again._ " Kirby thought, "I need an escort, please." Kirby asked, "Of course. Follow me." They insisted, Kirby followed them to Roy's room, "Here is the requested room you were looking for." the person said and went back to their desk.

Link walked into the corridor, then into another one and so on. He then saw the person who escorted Kirby, "Hey, have you seen a pink haired boy?" Link asked, "In room 293. I'll escort you." They escorted him to the room where Roy and Kirby were.

"Oh, you guys!" Link opened the door.


	11. Chapter 11

"So did Roy just give up?" Kirby asked, "Yeah, we were looking for you, by the by, where did you go?" Roy asked, "I saw something and went to check it out." Kirby replied, then looked at Link, "So are we going to continue looking for the list?" He asked, "Sure, come on Roy, Master Hand will probably obliterate you too." Kirby warned. Roy sighed and decided that he had no choice so he went with them, "So how long is this going to take? I've been waiting for a long, periodically time." Roy said, Kirby death stared him, "A long time. We don't know where Mewtwo vanished off to." he walked to where his Warp Star was supposed to be, but it wasn't there. "It's not there! And I don't want frigging walk through the Great Maze and the forest."

"Wait! It might be around here."

"No, it won't. It's gone."

"Well, maybe we can find it."

"Hell no, we are not walking for half an hour. Don't you want to find the list?"

Kirby remembered the list, "Oh yeah," he sighed.

"So stop worrying about your damn Warp Star. I know where a place is, we can check there for Mewtwo." Roy said, he took out his sword, "Okay, is the place a few hours from here?" Kirby asked, "It's not gonna take an hour, it will take us about, 30 minutes to get there. That's better than looking around a whole palace for a frigging flying star thingy majiggy."

They walked to the place, where Roy said would only take about 30 minutes to get there. "Told you." Roy placed his hands on his hips like he won something, "Artificial BOMBS!" A kid screamed, "What the heck was that?" Kirby asked, "I dunno. It's been awhile since I've been here." Kirby looked closer, it was Vio and Blue, and Green, from the Four Swords Adventures, "Holy-" Roy ran up to them, "NO BOMBS ON CAMPUS." Roy complained, he said in a kiddy voice. "You mad?" Blue slipped on some sunglasses. "No, I'M NOT! I'M FOLLOWING THE RULES!" Roy said in a kiddy voice again then slapped his glasses off. "I cry everytime."

"Look, you guys aren't even relevant to the story so get the frick out of here!" Roy shouted at them.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Fine, we'll get rid of them." Blue took Vio's bomb, "HEY!" Vio screamed, "Vio, when the hell did you get so retarded?" Blue asked holding the bomb out of Vio's reach, "Stop standing on the rock. I know you want to feel like you're taller or something." Vio went back to his normal self, "And it's about to fricking explode." he continued.

"Hahaha. No, it won't." Blue laughed, "R.I.P you." Green backed away, then Roy swooped in and grabbed it and threw it towards the summit that was really far away, really how did he manage to throw it that far? "Wow. That was intense." Link said, then Roy scolded them.

"Okay, okay. We'll GO!" Blue said, "DON'T SASS ME. I KNOW YOUR GAMEPLAN." Roy said, he took out a fan. That pokemon thing, "I'LL FAN THIS FAN SO FAST, I'LL FAN YOU TO THE NEXT DIMENSION." He started fanning them. "You're insane." Vio pushed Blue and Green to the ground, "The hell?"

"That was unexpected." Roy shoved the fan in Kirby's mouth, "You can eat everything, right? I hope so." Roy looked at Kirby, who swallowed it. "Yeah. But not fricking shadow balls." Kirby said.

"So, let's continue."

"UGH! I don't really wanna."

"ROY! WE HAVE TO!"

"NO."

"YES!"

"Fine."

Roy finally agreed, "Hey, is Link even relevant at all now?" he asked, "I dunno, he's keeping quiet." Kirby glanced at Link, who was facing forward. They walked for about 8 hours. "OH MY GO-O-O-O-SH." Roy sighed, "8 hours." Link said, "FINALLY, you said something, it's been so long, since last I've see- OW! HEY!" Roy was singing until Kirby slapped him. "Why did this happen to me?" Roy kneeled, "GET UP ROY! We have to go, stop messing around."

"You're acting like you're retarded! (Which you are.)" Kirby said, Roy pouted and his hands hung low. "If you know how I feel,why would you say that? Like, you put me in such an uncomfortable situation, like you know I'm not happy." Roy face planted onto the ground. "What are we going to do with you?" Kirby facepalmed.


End file.
